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Reconcilable Differences

by Heathen Eve

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1.
You've changed How you've changed But then I'm not the same Either, am I? We grow How we grow Til the old town don't know who we are And if all of our wounds turns to scars We'll have stories to tell And I'll warn you I'll embellish them Just to gain an audience with you but I know better than to woo you with my bag of tricks In the bedroom with a candlestick The colonel, there, he took a hit Thanks man, but now I've got no cards to play You've changed Changed your ways And you're asking me to do the same We grow But we don't know What becomes of the seeds that we sow And the twisted directions we'll go We can vainly vie for patterns Go insane that Pi is random Can convince ourselves we're better off alone We can give in to that old notion That the one you die with Is the only one but I contend That there's a compromise You die each day But every day's a life Your grace won’t be wasted on me You and I are the points Of an orbit so wide We will spiral and spiral Until we collide And all of those particles Each memory Will find their way back Thanks to this gravity And your grace won't be wasted on me
2.
The Answer 03:21
All I want is just to know if there’s a plan or if the ozone layer and surface tension are just your inventions as you’re drifting off to sleep And your mind is drifting somewhere else entirely You and I don’t want to be the first to ask the question Cuz the answer’s gonna turn us into fools How will we fill our minds when we find those lines were just a waste of time? Except the line we can recite but we still won’t learn the lesson: That wise men don’t answer in facts they answer in questions It’s just a name: determination or complacency But let’s just face it we all hate our money wasted so why did we go and place it in one basket, never asked if winning here was even worth it. It wouldn’t take much to unearth it but what could be worse than if the answer turned us all into fools I’ve put my sign a thousand times On that dotted line but I’m worried that it might be a mistake It’s just begun to sink in that that permanent black ink ain’t quite as permanent as I might like to think Well I don’t believe in anarchy but sometimes it just seems to me that that might be a better place to start: a state of mind, a state of heart That leaves you desperate (or at the least just full of *it) with no sense of direction, just the guts to ask the question and let the answer turn you into a fool
3.
She's a mystery in stilettos She's written in free verse She could be the queen of anything If they made a crown for her The illusionist was sleeping When he woke up in fear When he saw that she could truly Make things disappear So God is evolution How else could I stand upright? For if apes we were this morning We'll be angels by tonight The illusionist was dreaming Of a casino deck of cards That's when she slipped past him And kidnapped all the stars Too proud to say he never saw it coming Before his eyes he could see his world crumbling in And he knew that the only illusion was his The illusionist was wand'ring A little aimlessly When he found the crowns he'd made her Hanging on a tree Too proud to say he never saw it coming Before his eyes he could see his world crumbling in And he knew that the only illusion was his
4.
If I turn my back If I run away If I leave behind The games we play If I get too old Or sleep too late Or love too fast For fear of hate Will you Still be there? Would you pass me by If you saw me there In the intersection Or would you stare? Like the accident That you didn't cause But could not prevent For all your laws Will you Still be there? Every god has got his martyrs Every goddess got a soldier who will kill To please her but what he don't know is She's sleeping with his enemies as well If I turn my back If I run away If I leave behind The games we play If I get too old Or sleep too late Or love too fast For fear of hate Will you Still be there? Would you hold my hand Would you know my name Cuz tears on earth Are not the same Would you let me fall Or watch me go Or smile and say I told you so And you'll Still be there Every god has got his martyrs Every goddess got a soldier who will kill To please her but what he don't know is She's sleeping with his enemies as well And it's beautiful Every god has got his martyrs Every goddess got a soldier And they'll tell you what the score is Cuz they're living in a war zone And we know that they'll invade us Heaven knows we'll do the same if we don't find a love to change us now then it's too late for saviours And it's beautiful
5.
He had a dreamer's eye Defense or innocence all the same A cruel world playing tricks All he ever asked for was a cast Of characters for his comics She was the free-est spirit Sometimes to a fault I won't get a mortgage either An inherited disparaging stance towards hand shakes and contracts He saw the big blue world With so much room for error So many variables A man just needs some order and peace, well at least In his home She saw her small blue world Window boxes and a concrete foundation Longing for variables She skipped town but she never found Her balanced equation So what do you do with the artifacts? And what do you do in the aftermath? What do you do with a mess like that It isn't yours but you can't give it back What do you do with the artifacts? Never again, she said Her motherhood and marriage at odds "This year will be different kids" Another downed tree and another party we left early. “Let's go to the park!” he said (Perfect sunshine with a high chance of guilt). And after all these takes He's still not sure where to stand in the fam ily photo. She took the fast way out But I know that doesn't mean it was easy There's a few steps to growing up And I never met anyone yet who could guess the best order He saw the unforgivable and that was that Actions have consequences But we're not the judges, we were all pretty grunge In the nineties Your hazel eyes on her Your crooked smile on him Gazing up through glass the dust Just cannot quite get in A journal and a ring And some old Polaroids Your life's the Harry Potter books You read as a boy Your middle name Your goddamn DNA All the conspiracy theories you've made Your memories you can't throw away Take them from The drawers and shelves Bury them And wish them well With a sign that says Here lies something Beautiful, real, and dead
6.
You know I don't wanna sing this song Forever but for now it's keeping me warm In a cold cold bed but that's what I get for burning down my own home I've only felt this way once before Thumbs out on a gravel road And a sunburnt back but I guess that that's what freedom is so you can take it or pass She might be the greatest thing But a lifetime of perfection leaves me wondering If these lines connect, or do they separate? Can you regret mistakes you never made? Something you said made me happy today Not the words but just the way You said them struck a chord You were always good with a double-edged sword You said I looked like a confident man Self-fulfilling prophecy, now honey, I am But I still don't know whether my old Faith in love should stay or go She might feel just the same We'd like women to be angels but that's not the case She don't belong to anybody else and God help me if I belong to myself Youth is wasted on the young but I Kept a bit of it so I could try To finish some of what I hadn't done Because I wasn't allowed when I was young So now I'm back on that stony road My faith is placed in the next truckload Of fertilizer that might come by here Pick me up and give me a ride You know I don't wanna sing this song Forever but for now it's keeping me warm In a cold cold bed but that's what I get for burning down my own home

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released September 23, 2017

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Heathen Eve Winnipeg, Manitoba

Music for people who love The Shins, Joni Mitchell, and being the little spoon.

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